Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
