They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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