well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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