your room smells of hookers.
And success
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
