Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
he quoted the bible to break up with me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
