on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My feet surprised me
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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