his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
