every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
