Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
