I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
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He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
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Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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