I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
