Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
