wanna go halves on a baby?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
