is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
