i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
