Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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