my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
