Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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