When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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