Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell