Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Your shirt... Was in my pants