Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.