Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
