I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.