I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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