just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
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So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'