You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.