Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
