Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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