I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.