hotties wanna shake it
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me