someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
