I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
