so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
