Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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