Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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