Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
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I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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