He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
