What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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