I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
