i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
