did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
