I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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