if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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