Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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