is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
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the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
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Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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