I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Randomize
