He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
