do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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