i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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