summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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