Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Houston, we have a blender
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
