my sisters under your porch take her home
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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