Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
