I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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