I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
