Midget sex pt 2 tonight
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
