guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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