Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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