I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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