Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
