ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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