Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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