it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
