You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
