i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
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I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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