id be glad to
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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