ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.