Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
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If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
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Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.