Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween