is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
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successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
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He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.